What A Platypus Smells Like

Posted: September 15, 2013 in Humor, Stupid Rants
Tags: , , , , , ,

Someone challenged me to write a post wondering what a platypus smells like.

Well, from personal experience, I really don’t know. Because as much of no-lifer I am, I don’t have a hobby that consists of hunting in the wild for a platypus, just to grab it by the tail and get a good whiff.

But apparently some people do. Because when I searched it up on Google (the world’s greatest resources if you ever need to know anything), they actually had some sort of an idea. So here’s what I got:

Platypuses do not smell bad. They smell like an animal that lives in burows and hunts for food in water.

Huh. Well, I don’t actually know what that kind of animal smells like, but maybe that’s no big deal.

After all, what will I do with the knowledge of what a platypus smells like?

Chacha tells me: There are no reports available online regarding the odor of platypuses, but they do produce a venom that is deadly to small animals like dogs!

So now they’re evil. Huh. Somehow I never got that vibe from Perry the platypus from Phineas and Ferb (remember that guy? LOVED him.)

Speaking of Perry, how the hell was he so damn pretty??

I mean every other platypus in the world just looks like

platypus1

Which is all cute and all, but I mean Perry had this beautiful blue-ish color to him, y’know?

No platypus actually looks like this and no platypus is as cool as Secret Agent Perry the Platypus.

-cue singing of word Perry!-

Okay so, maybe I’m a little too old to like Phineas and Ferb, right?

WRONG!!

I AM AS COOL AS AGENT PERRY THEREFORE I CAN LIKE PHINEAS AND FERB IF I WANT!

P.S. Speaking of Phineas and Ferb, what the hell is up with them?

I mean, they have summer vacation all day everyday and we need to go back to school every September?

What up with that?!

So not cool.

Anyways, this post has obviously been a complete waste of your time.

Ah wells, I don’t really care.

It all started with what a platypus smells like.

So remember, if you truly would like to know, go to Google. And then, when you realize Google can’t give you the exact smell, go out into the wild, hunt down a platypus, grab it by the tail, bring it real close to your face, and just take a good whiff.

That should do it.

Meanwhile, did you know platypus mothers breastfeed their babies yet they don’t have nipples?

Yeah, they just sweat out their milk and their babies lick all over the mothers body.

Cool huh

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Comments
  1. juddin97 says:

    Reblogged this on Complaints Of A Teenager and commented:

    Hahaha, I was so funny, what happened?
    Need my creativity back ASAP

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