Just Listen: The Irony Of Me

Posted: November 5, 2013 in Me, Myself, and I
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Recently, a friend of mine sought me out and made the time to sit down with me because she had some thoughts she needed to get off her chest and thought I would be the best person to talk to.

This touched me deeply, especially because me and her aren’t even close friends.

And she was saying how she knew I would give her practical advice and most importantly: I would just listen.

This statement took me back. To about a month ago. The front steps of my house, with my childhood close friend, just talking, talking about what was bothering us, not necessarily asking for help or advice, just talking, talking about what needed to be talked about.

And at the end, she sighed and told me that it was such a relief to just be able to talk without being judged. How she likes that I simply listen and let her talk.

And that made me so happy.

But it occurred to me that I always encourage people to talk to me, I always listen.

But I never allow the reverse to happen.

Because time after time again, I have been burned and betrayed, judged, and left behind.

I just don’t trust myself to simply talk anymore.

Which sucks, because I have a lot to say. I just know that people won’t just listen. They’ll talk. They’ll judge. They’ll criticize.

So is it so terrible? That I’m like a hypocrite?

Letting people trust me with their feelings, but not trusting other people with mines?

I can’t risk it. I can’t spill. I can’t let my walls dissolve.

It’s just not safe in this world.

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