How To Take A Selfie

Posted: January 11, 2014 in Humor, Irritating People At School
Tags: , , , , , , ,

1: Pick out an outfit that exaggerates your assets. For example, a shirt that makes your boobs pop up like balloons and maybe some shorts that could be mistaken for panties.

2: Make sure you are in your bathroom with the toilet as your background.

3. Hold your camera phone away from you, but at a higher position, never directly straight in front of you. This is to make you appear “smaller” even though you have worn clothes that make you appear bigger.

4. Bend your knees a little and squeeze your shoulders closer to you so that a nice line appears on your cleavage.

5: Pucker your lips into a duck face and click the capture.

6. (Optional) Post the picture online with a nice filter with either of the following captions:

– I look ehh but whatever

– All natural

– Blurry, and I look fat, but whatevs

Congratulations! You have now learned one of the most important skills of being the typical air-headed teenage girl.

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