Archive for February, 2014

So I picked the topic that was on the top of my head when I realized that I should probably update my blog and I needed something to write on.

So here goes; the concept of there being one boyfriend per girl.

I know this girl. We aren’t exactly close friends, but I guess you could say we’re friends. And there a lots of things to admire about her, don’t get me wrong, she’s a very intellectual person to talk to and all.

Just.. one thing. She has a boyfriend.. yet she treats some of her guy like her boyfriends. Or maybe that’s just an exaggeration. She treats them like.. her cuddle buddies. She doesn’t flirt with anyone or anything. But she’s like this small puppy, just snuggling up with the closest male nearby.

And you know, I don’t really care. It has no concern on me. But it makes me curious as to why she does that. I mean, she has a boyfriend, and she cuddles up with him in public plenty of times. And then she just goes ahead and lays her head on one of her guy friend’s shoulder’s or just snuggles up with him and I just raise one eyebrow, utterly confused.

Maybe she’s just in need of constant comfort. Who knows.

 

Miserable At This Point

Posted: February 22, 2014 in Life
Tags: , , , , , ,

I have too much on my plate.

It seems I keep coming back here this year: going out of my mind because it’s all simply too much.

I have a part-time job now. I applied because I know they hire people around this time of the year and I didn’t want to wait until summer because they hardly hire anyone over the summer.

So now I work on the weekends. I also work every time we have a week off in school. Which was this week. And it’s been about a month since I’ve been working now. And I can tell you that it’s really tiring. And the part that sucks the most is that I still can’t get things right. I keep messing up and the managers always see and they get pissed off and today, I was about to just collapse and burst into tears.

But of course, I would never forgive myself if I let myself get out of control like that.

And now, not only do I have this job to worry about, I also have school, let’s not forget that. I have to keep up my grades. I have to study for the SAT. And I’m a part of the Law Team in my school and we have a competition on Tuesday.

It’s just too much. And it’s really the job that’s getting annoying now. And I can’t even admit it because I wanted it. And I like getting paid. I just need to get used to it. No matter how much attitude my manager gives me. No matter how much I mess up. I need to learn. And I need to deal.

So I’m holding my breath. And washing away my tears. And sucking it up.

.. I’d get run out of business.

Seriously. I know I should update. I know I like updating. I know the whole point of making this blog was so I could write.

And there are times through out the day when I’m like “Oh boy, I can’t wait to get home and blog about this.”

But then I actually get home, and the first thing I do is kick off my shoes, grab some unhealthy food and plop myself in front of the television and it’s really all a blur after that.

But now I attempted at studying and you know what I just happened to realize? “Gee, I should go update my blog.”

So now my studying has been pushed aside because frankly, I’m more lazy when it comes to studying then when it comes to updating my blog.

Not that blogging is a chore. It’s just that getting my thoughts all organized and putting it into a post part. Cuz otherwise it just sounds like rambling that makes no sense at all.

Although, I suspect that’s how my posts sound like anyways. Maybe they’re meant to sound like that. Aw hell, I don’t even know- see- ramblings- not much sense at all.

So let’s talk about life. It’s okay right now. I just have the SAT looming over my mind. It’s a bit annoying- like this dark cloud above you telling you that if you fail- that’s it- you get slapped with a one-way ticket to loserville. Or something like that.

Um, I also have a part-time job now. Which makes my mom frown considering I’m supposed to be focusing solely on my grades this year (which is really some bullshit because when it comes to her, I’m supposed to be solely focusing on my grades every year).

But I like the fact that I’m earning some extra cash now. It’ll keep my pockets warm, you know?

Besides that, there’s not much else going on.

Wow, studying and working, that sounds boring to even my own ears.

I don’t know how you kept reading this post until the very end, but whatever drug your on that’s keeping you reading, thank your dealer for me 😉

Jk, thanks for reading ❤

.. And I’ll probably punch you in the face.

Seriously.

I’m sick of completely fake ass people that are so annoying that they irritate your last nerve.

So maybe that sounded a little harsh. But whatever.

I’ve just noticed that people are okay individually, usually if you talk to them in a realistic way, see who they really are, you like them as a person.

But drop them in a group of people and damn, it’s like switches going off all over the place alternating from personalities.

And girls. My god, especially girls, man. I don’t mean to diss my own gender but man they are annoying. Flirty, whiny, giggly, and just fake too often.

I know girls, where if you talk to them individually, they will be the best down to earth people to talk to. But place them in a social outing, and they’re sitting on their guy friend’s laps, giggling, complaining, oh and turning every outing event into a photo shoot so they can post pictures on the internet and become cyber famous.

Wow, you’re cool. This is the reason why I don’t even like social gatherings anymore. People act fake to impress others, to create a sort of impression, to just act stupid and “wild” like they see teenagers “supposed” to be on tv and I’m just like “Give me a freakin break, can’t you all just be yourselves?” They’d all probably be more appealing that way anyways.

I feel suffocated sometimes as a teenager. Not even, just being in my house, being around my family sometimes suffocates me. Just because everything is so restricted and everything you do and say gets thrown right back at your face.

It’s really hard keeping it together sometimes when all you wanna do is throw a tantrum like “a typical teen” and slam some doors and turn up the music and pout for a while.

Sometimes I just wonder, when the hell can I get out of here? When can I move out, is more like it.

I wanna be independent. I wanna be free. Free of any rules and restrictions and troubles. Although I’m smart enough to know that moving out won’t help any.

I miss being a kid. When I was young, I had my future all planned out.

I would turn 18, have such great grades that I would go to a school far away from home.

And that would be it. That would be my one way ticket out of here. Just use that to run away and never come back.

The future seemed so much cooler to think about whens a kid.

One of the most popular things that has been been littering the news and blogs lately is the fat controversy. Yes, I just called it a fat controversy.

The dilemma between what size declares a girl beautiful and whether one should be content with the rolls of fat or not.

Let’s just get this one statement out of the way: A girl in any size can be beautiful. Okay? Now to my next statement: If a girl is in a size that’s unhealthy– whether that being she is too thin or too big- that’s no good.

Insecurity is like a terrible disease spreading through out teenage girls. Too many girls who are not overweight are starving themselves to be thin. And that is the reason why now we see so many articles telling girls that it’s okay to be chubby, plump, and often that’s what makes you even more attractive.

Now, normally, I approve. I am chubby myself and I have struggled with it many times. But I try to accept it because I have realized that I am beautiful and healthy and it is not necessary to go on a diet and try to be thin. I am aware however that if I gain too many pounds and I don’t keep up with my exercise, I will be unhealthy and that is when I need to loose weight.

That’s the thing- these articles that are designed to help girls that already healthy– they appear to be saying, you should be content no matter what size you are. Which I don’t disagree with completely- yes, overweight people can be beautiful.

But.. what about your health? Health is always important no matter which way you go. These articles that are trying to stop girls from getting too thin, shouldn’t be promoting girls who are overweight to stay “too big”.

Obesity is growing problem in the United States and can lead to heart disease, diabetes and much more.

Pleasantly plump, and looking round and soft or chubby is good- but fat to the extent that you are unhealthy is never good.

Just like thin- to the point where you are unhealthy is never good.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes but health should always be your top priority.