Archive for January, 2016

People piss me off. I get pissed off. I refrain from yelling. Makes me want to cry instead. I should yell. I should scream. But I have patience. Y’know? I know.

People piss me off. My parent’s piss me off. My dad pisses me off. My sentences right now piss me off but I am too pissed off to care.

Where do I even begin? I heard it’s a middle-eastern man thing. Explanations for my dad. Hot-tempered, unreasonable, unrealistic, oozing pride, increasingly testing my patience and increasingly pissing me off.

Told me to call his pharmacy to order his medicine refills and then gets pissed off when I ask when he wants to go in to pick up his medicine. Because apparently it’s common sense for ME to know when HE wants to go in and pick up his medicine? I DON’T KNOW.

And it’s not just this, this is just the cherry on top of a big nasty milkshake that I am tired of that drove me to write this post. Just to get this mad negative energy out.

The milkshake consists of a lot of things. It consists of his stupid pride in not wanting to learn things he does not know how to do but relies on me for because he doesn’t want to ADMIT THAT HE DOES NOT KNOW. And then leaving threatening voicemail on my phone when I’m out because HE NEEDS ME TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM THAT HE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DO. Like scanning a document to send to his lawyer. Seriously.

Patience patience patience tested and increasingly decreasing. Does that even make sense? Should I even reread this post to see if any of this makes sense? Nah. Because I don’t care. Because I’m mad. Well.. less now that I’ve written this and gotten it out.

But still.



Counting minutes, counting days

Posted: January 14, 2016 in Life, Stupid Rants

There is approximately two weeks left until my spring semester of college starts. And I don’t say that with remorse.

All throughout fall semester, I chimed in with everyone else in counting down the days until winter break. But ever since it started, I haven’t been able to shake off this feeling of just nothingness–┬áthis lazy, unmotivated, directionless feeling. Most of my days are spent in bed, either refreshing social media in hopes of entertainment, mindlessly watching old t.v. shows, or reading books where the characters, unlike me, are being productive.

I can’t stand not being productive, it drives me crazy. Which is a good thing, because that crazy feeling pushes me to find something productive to do. Which is what I felt in the beginning of this break. But after a while, you just get tired and allow yourself to give in to the nothingness- allowing yourself to be in bed and do nothing because you can’t find something to do.

I mean really, this is ridiculous. I’m frustrated because I have nothing to study for? This is my free time. I should be hanging out with my friends, staying out, having a good time. I did hang out with my friends- once. It left me a bit drained. And now it seems my friends are busy hanging out with their other friends anyways. Plus, it so cold outside. So easy to just stay in and fuss over deciding to stay in.

I don’t know. Maybe the last week of my break will be fun, maybe something great will happen, at the time when I wish school wasn’t about to open, unlike the wish I’m wishing now.

Makes no sense, right? Yeah. I know.