Counting minutes, counting days

Posted: January 14, 2016 in Life, Stupid Rants

There is approximately two weeks left until my spring semester of college starts. And I don’t say that with remorse.

All throughout fall semester, I chimed in with everyone else in counting down the days until winter break. But ever since it started, I haven’t been able to shake off this feeling of just nothingness– this lazy, unmotivated, directionless feeling. Most of my days are spent in bed, either refreshing social media in hopes of entertainment, mindlessly watching old t.v. shows, or reading books where the characters, unlike me, are being productive.

I can’t stand not being productive, it drives me crazy. Which is a good thing, because that crazy feeling pushes me to find something productive to do. Which is what I felt in the beginning of this break. But after a while, you just get tired and allow yourself to give in to the nothingness- allowing yourself to be in bed and do nothing because you can’t find something to do.

I mean really, this is ridiculous. I’m frustrated because I have nothing to study for? This is my free time. I should be hanging out with my friends, staying out, having a good time. I did hang out with my friends- once. It left me a bit drained. And now it seems my friends are busy hanging out with their other friends anyways. Plus, it so cold outside. So easy to just stay in and fuss over deciding to stay in.

I don’t know. Maybe the last week of my break will be fun, maybe something great will happen, at the time when I wish school wasn’t about to open, unlike the wish I’m wishing now.

Makes no sense, right? Yeah. I know.


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