Posts Tagged ‘guys’

A couple of months go, a guy rejected me after weeks of flirting with me and dropping endless hints.

Well, I wouldn’t say rejected exactly, just that I liked him and decided to clue him in about that and set me straight letting me know that the past flirty signs he’d been giving were nothing, just harmless little friendly things.

So I let it go, it took some time, but I got over it. And we were friends this whole time, except the time when I got annoyed at him or when I realized some bad things about him that I hadn’t cared to notice before.

And today, well I don’t know what to say, we were friends just like we’ve been for the last four or five months.

And out of nowhere, he just decides to start slipping moves on me.

Why? Gee, I don’t know, did his other options bail on him?

Did he realize that all those other girls weren’t as much fun and weren’t going to stick around?

Or maybe, maybe, and I’m just shooting out ideas here, maybe he thinks he can just play a harmless little flirting game with me.

Maybe its his sick idea of messing with my head because he’s bored.

Well I’ve got something to tell you, bud: “I’m not feeling it!”

Yeah that’s right, I don’t feel it and he can’t get into my head because the feeling ┬ájust isn’t there.

Just a couple months ago, I felt butterflies fluttering around me stomach when his hands came near my face or my waist.

Now if he’s simply breathing too close, I feel a different feeling in my stomach.

And sick twisted uncomfortable feeling. A feeling that tells me that I know exactly what he’s up to and it’s just a little too late because I’m not interested anymore!

And he just came on strong out of nowhere, finding any and every excuse to call me cute or adorable, pinching my cheeks, squeezing my stomach, touching my waist, anything!

And I promise you, I didn’t give him encouragements.

I stayed friendly- as much friendly as a friend should stay.

And when he came too close I backed away.

I don’t get if he actually thinks he’s getting somewhere with this. Because he’s not.

I’m a romantic faithful fantasy happy ending kind of girl. I can’t put with his moving- on- and- flirting- with- the- next- girl- when- he- gets- bored- ways.

I only wanted to be his friend after everything happened.

Even with his flaws, his phony acts, the things I don’t like about him, I accept that there’s always going to be some things I don’t like about everybody.

But I wanted to be his close friend, always have and always will, I think.

But he always wants to get into my head, mess everything up, and walk away without cleaning up the mess he made.

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You know, in many ways, having a crush on a guy is very quite annoying.

For one thing, it’s distracting.

And what if you don’t want to like him?

What if you know you shouldn’t like him?

What if you’re just trying to concentrate on your schoolwork and not get involved with boys and yet this guy just comes around with his sweet talking and your head gets jumbled?

It’s annoying because you can’t help it and you need to get him out of your head.

I need to get him out of my head.

I mean for godsake, I don’t even know for sure if he likes me.

Although he has dropped a few hints. Okay, maybe a bit more than a few. And even other people think he likes me.

But it doesn’t matter. Because I’m not interested.

Because this guy is not the type of guy that I usually talk to and sometime he says some really messed up things and sometimes he really annoys me because sometimes he just gets to me.

Like that time when he said I needed to loose weight. He moved halfway across the room to cut into me and my friend’s conversation to inform me that I need to loose weight. Of course, I acted like I couldn’t care less and dismissed him, but how is that not supposed to hurt?

But then, my friends tell me that the only reason he did that was to get your attention, I mean duhh.

Well that’s a really elementary method of trying to get a girl’s attention, by insulting her. But that was earlier on in the year. When I thought of him as a complete jerk.

But lately, we’ve been getting along. After he made that comment about my weight, I would take every chance I get to make fun of him and we would just be at it with each other for a while. Until he stopped, and so did I.

And now, we’re somewhat friends. And these last few days, he’s been dropping hints. Little things.

Like in class when he called my name over and over again and I said “What??” in an annoyed tone and he just gives me grin and says, “Nothing, you’re beautiful.”

Now what kind of girl doesn’t get warmed by that?

And then the other day, he took the long way home so I wouldn’t have to go home alone after the school concert. And he offered me some popcorn.

Since we were getting along so well, I took some and teased him, “Why are you offering me? I thought you said I had to loose weight?”

And he smiles and goes, “What? No, I never said that.. I didn’t mean it.”

And I’m a forgiving person so I just shrug and let it be. And when we’re walking too fast and I complain that my shoes hurt he slows down right away and lets me catch up. And now, I just think, he’s kind of..sweet?

Except I really don’t want to think that.

He’s transferring schools next year and I have my finals and stuff to focus on and this is just not acceptable to me.

Except he won’t get out of my head and I can’t stop thinking that I like the fact that it seems he really likes me and even though he seemed like a jerk at first he’s turning out to be really kind of sweet.

But no. I must get that out of my head.

Because I just don’t have time for this silly little crush.

And I don’t have time to argue with myself either (which I do a lot, in case you haven’t noticed).