Posts Tagged ‘heart’

Every time I like a guy, I am faced with a head vs. heart situation.

And you know, every time I start a school year, I promise myself that I won’t fall for another guy and it ends up happening? Damn.

So my current situation is that I can’t help but like this guy and it’s getting worse by the minute. All of a sudden, I’m formulating plans in my head so I can “accidentally” bump into him or at the very least, walk out of school with him and take the subway home together. And then when we’re in a group, I am calculating the possibility of the off chance that everybody else will have to go else where and me and him will be alone.

Which is dumb, because I don’t even wanna date the guy.

Why would I not want to date the guy I like you ask?

Well I could give you the perfectly reasonable long answer: I simply don’t have time for one, I should focus on school, my parents don’t allow me to date anyways so I would have to sneak around (never mind that I constantly do that anyways) etc.

And then there’s the cold, harsh, short, simple truth: I’m afraid of getting hurt. Not only that, I am afraid of messing things up. There’s just so many factors that come into play with a high school relationship. Everybody else, parents, school etc. And plus, they hardly ever last. Is it really worth giving up a valued friendship for a few months of cuddling and kisses?

My head is complicated, I know.

But besides that, why am I even thinking about this?

There is nothing to say that this guy might like me.

Even if feelings were to end up as mutual, I would chicken myself out and mess everything up anyways.

Why is this such a dilemma?

How do I deal with this?

How I focus my head to rule out everything that my heart says because when it comes down to it, my head has a brain, my heart doesn’t.

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