Posts Tagged ‘parents’

Let’s be real guys. Ever heard that phrase before.

It’s the phrase that just about every mother uses in just about every single argument. And I’m really sick of it. How can you use something that happened before I even existed against me? That’s just not fair.

So I have a part time job now. And I only make 8 bucks an hour and I only work weekends. I don’t use money as much but that still isn’t exactly a lot. But it’s something.

When I first started working, I loved the idea of having my own income. My first paycheck- I used it for a family meal.

I even considered bringing dinner home once and I was considering using it to help with little things like grocery and such. But that changed pretty quick.

Wanna know why? Because all of a sudden my mother started hinting about all the things I would be able to buy for her now that I make money.

And I don’t mean casual little things.

She’ll sit on the sofa and go, “Soon, my daughter will be able to buy new expensive sofa’s for the family.”

And you know, I would if I could. But it really doesn’t make me feel better if she just sits there and asks for it.

Mother’s Day is next Sunday. And you know, I always get her something for Mother’s Day. Before, it was small, cheap things. But now that I have money, this year I was already planning to get something nice.

But for the past month or so,  she’s been saying stuff like, “Who know’s what your going to get for me this Mother’s Day.”

And you know, the way we work is that we joke around a lot. She said that jokingly, so I jokingly said, “I don’t even know when Mother’s Day is so you should remind me on the day so I can pluck a flower out of our garden to give you.”

She laughed it off and it’s really always like that. Lately, the way she just expects me to get her stuff is getting annoying though.

Even my little brother came to me asking for 20 dollars yesterday. He’s 9! What does he need it for?

So today me and my mother went out to cash in my latest check and my dad called.

I jokingly told him that this time I was going to split the cash in half and give half to him and the other half to my sister because they were the only ones in the family that didn’t ask me for money now that I have a job.

He laughed it off and said, “That’s not necessary, it’s okay.”

My mom took everything serious all of a sudden; asking if she’s ever used any of my money and such.

I said, no, but you sure ask for it (again, jokingly).

But walking back home, she wouldn’t even look at me. Saying stuff like, “I carried you around for nine months. Only to see you grow up and insult me.”

Okay, so I made a statement and I hurt her feelings. But I told her I didn’t mean to, it was a joke.

And now she’s still acting like such a drama queen, ignoring me and shit.

I don’t what to do and I feel like shit. The funny thing is I don’t even think she considers her kids feelings when she talks, but if we make a tiny statement that gets her upset she acts like we’ve been horrible to her.

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You just can’t.

You can try to guide them in the right direction. You can teach them right from wrong. But you can’t stop them from making mistakes and learning from them. 

I see parenting all over the place where the parents are so obsessed with who their child talks to that they literally try to control their life. You can’t do that. Just like, some point after kindergarten, you can’t really tell your children who they can and can’t hang out with.

I’m so sick of parents trying to adjust a kids life and try to keep them away from people who will give them ‘bad ideas’. In fact, I think kids, especially teenagers should be exposed to these ‘bad influences’. You know why? So they can learn to say NO.

Everyone should be offered an illegal drink or a cigarette as soon as they step into high school just so they can practice saying “No, that’s really not good for me” instead of having to depend on their parents to keep them away from those people in the first place.

Because parent’s can’t shield you from the bad world forever.

You need to see the reality. You need to be exposed to stuff that could lead you down the wrong path just so you could learn to make that turn and do the right thing.

Cuz at the end of the day, your parents don’t have that power- YOU DO.

This post is about my parents. So I’m warning you now. If you’ll criticize me for thinking this way, you can go elsewhere.

The thing is, I feel like I’m stuck. With them. Except not so literally. I’m stuck in the way I am with them and they way they are with me. I’m stuck in the life of a 12 year old basically. And I can’t get past this. Because at first, it was my parents punishing me. Then it was me punishing me because I couldn’t accept that I wasn’t perfect. Now it’s just the norm.

I can’t get past that. I have little to no freedom. As far as they know, I don’t talk to a single guy. I don’t hang out with friends. I have no life. I don’t even have a smart phone.

And here’s the point where you can criticize me. Tell me that I’m a brat. Wanting material things when other people have it worse. Yes, I get it, I have a roof over my head and food on my plate, I should so grateful. And I am grateful for that bit. But it’s not just that.

I don’t have trust. They don’t trust me. And I never asked for that trust. Because in reality, no kid really deserves trust. Every kid lies, every kid doesn’t tell the complete truth, don’t try to tell me otherwise. No kid is perfect. But without trust, there can be no relationship. At all.

Because I knew I could never count on myself to tell them the complete truth, 100%, all the time, I never thought I deserved the trust at all. And they accepted that. But I can’t live like this anymore. I’m getting older. Yet I’m living the same shitty old reality day by day.

If life was a movie, the main character would go to her parents, and they’d sit down in the comfy old living room together, and they’d have this big ole talk about each other’s feeling’s, and both sides would understand, and they’d compromise, it would end with a big ole hug and everything would be okay.

But life is not like that. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and count the days.

That’s what some of my friends sometimes say to me. And the answer I give them: Yes! I do stress! Because without stressing I feel like I didn’t put in my best, the most effort I could possibly put in. And besides that, with all the pressure coming from all different directions, how can you not stress??

The school year is ending, except not quite. Except the ending is really just beginning. Now is when it starts to hit you that you are only a few months away from going onto the next year. It seems like just a few months I had just started this year! And now it’s like the year is pretty much over and if I don’t remember everything I learned this whole school year, I am so screwed.

And then comes the idea that life is moving way too fast. Didn’t I just start high school? Oh wait, I’m half way done with high school and my future is giving me creepy little smirks from the distance making me wonder what is to come.

Oh yeah, and add in the pressure from the parents. The whole, “you’re almost grown up now, better map out the rest of your life.” The parents are the reason you’re breathing the air you’re breathing, living the way you’re living. They went through so much to give you a good future and provide the best for you and god forbid you screw up, it’s going to be a major disappointment. Yeah, I’ve heard it all before, it might as well be written on the back of my hand.

What if I’m not sure how the future is going to turn out? What if I’m not completely positive that this is the path that I want to take? What if, what if… what if I’m just over thinking everything like I always do. Letting things get to me and freaking out over nothing? After all, everyone’s either going through the same thoughts or went through the same thoughts at once right? That’s probably it, I just have a habit to stress. It makes me feel like if I do mess up, I did try not to mess up and worry beforehand. So that’s good… right? .-.

We’re young. We’re growing up. We’re discovering new things. We’re teenagers. 

You can’t blame us for wanting to have some freedom. We’re not kids anymore. Yes, I realize we’re not adults, but we’re young adults, aren’t we? Almost?

So why is it that parents can’t just trust us? Why is that everything is such a big deal? I get that in this age we’re more likely to get in trouble, but keeping us locked up like a bird in a cage isn’t going to help. In fact, that may just encourage us to pick open the lock until we can sneak out and fly away. Don’t worry, we’ll come back. And we’re old enough to take care of ourselves. All we want is some independence.

I am a teenager! I want freedom! Have faith in me! Have some trust! I deserve another chance!

Besides, haven’t you ever heard the saying, “Strict parents make sneaky kids?”

I know parents are just looking out for us, but we need to learn from our own mistakes. We need to live a little. And trust is so so very vital in our lives.

So why won’t parent trust teenagers? 😦